Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Taylor Swift: The Dear Zoo Edition

Mark and I have never made a secret of our lameness. But having a baby has really taken the lame to a whole new level. The following story perfect exemplifies this phenomenon.

Avery has a few books that she really, really loves. At the top of the list is a "lift the flap" book called Dear Zoo. It goes a little something like this.
"I wrote to the zoo to send me a pet. They sent me a (lift the flap)... Lion! He was too fierce. I sent him back."

Death by Anticipation: Flying on Planes with 1-year-olds

This Thursday morning, Mark and I will board a plane with our nearly one-year-old child to travel across the country to Virginia for my close friend/former roommate/partner-in-flirting-at-bars Becky's wedding. I have decided that in the future all friendships shall be measured by my willingness to subject myself to the misery of flying with a one-year-old.

When you are the parent of a young child time seems to just slip away from you. Presumably, that's why the fact of this wedding and its associated travel snuck up on us a bit. As in, about a week ago, I went "oh Foxtrot, how are we going to entertain this foxtrotting kid for five hours on an airplane? We can barely entertain her for five minutes in our own living room!!!"

Digression: I'm making an effort to replace fuck and other swearwords with more appropriate substitutes. I'll be very curious to hear the reaction of Avery's kindergarten teacher when she comes into school one morning and tells the class that Costco was a Charlie Foxtrot on Saturday...

Anyway, back to the airplane.